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Tips for working hard

مغلق
بدأه HMS في 2 نوفمبر 2005 · 7 رد · 868 مشاهدة · في الأخبار والنقاشات التقنية
مشاركة: واتساب X فيسبوك تيليجرام
#1 صاحب الموضوع

هذه مجموعة من النصائح :lol: التي يجب أن يقوم بها أيّ موظف وخاصة في القطاع العام، أقدمها لكم للفائدة... أذكر بأنّ هناك قصة جميلة لتوفيق الحكيم (نسيت أسمها) تُلّخص هذه النصائح بصورة رائعة:

1. Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands.

 People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings.

 People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they're heading for the toilet. 

Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.


2. Use computers to look busy. 

Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, calculate your finances and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. 

When you get caught by your boss -and you *will* get caught - your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training expenses.


3. Messy desk. 

Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. 

To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts. 

Pile them high and wide.  If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.


4. Voice Mail. 

Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing - they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That's no way to live. 

If your voice mailbox has a limit on the number of messages it can hold, make sure you reach that limit frequently. One way to do that is to never erase any incoming messages. If that takes too long, send yourself a few messages. Your callers will hear a recorded message that says, "Sorry, this mailbox is full" - a sure sign that you are a hardworking employee in high demand. 


5. Looking Impatient and Annoyed.

 One should also always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy.


6. Appear to Work Late. 

Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read, but have no time until late before leaving. 


7. Creative Sighing for Effect. 

Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are very hard pressed.


8. Stacking Strategy.

 It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor etc... You can always borrow from library. Thick computer manuals are the best.


9. Build Vocabulary.

 Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products. 

Use it freely when in conversation with bosses.  Remember: They don't have to understand what you say, but you sure sound impressive.


10. MOST IMPORTANTLY: DON'T forward this to your boss by mistake!!!

تم تعديل هذه المشاركة بواسطة HMS في 2 نوفمبر 2005 في 07:05

Learn Japanese :>>> http://www.nouben.com/

#2
2. Use computers to look busy. 

Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, calculate your finances and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. 

When you get caught by your boss -and you *will* get caught - your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training expenses.

ديه اول واحده مهمه اوى

5. Looking Impatient and Annoyed.

One should also always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy.

و ديه علشان تعطى اهميه لصاحب العمل و انت منفض على الاخر :lol: :lol: :lol:

بس تسلم يا باشا نصائح مهمه جدااااا :) :lol: :lol:

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#3

أنا فعلا لازم أمسك أى ورق فى ايدى فى الوحده علشان الناس تقول فى شغل :lol: :lol:

وياريت على المكتب يبقى فى تليفووووووونات

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#4

these are tips for pretending that we work hard

:lol: :lol:

I think that the most important tips are

اقتباس
Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands

Use computers to look busy

Appear to Work Late

thanks man :D

#5

أحسن واحدة:

7. Creative Sighing for Effect. 
Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are very hard pressed.

شكراً لك يا هارون على هذه النصائح :D

رأس الحكمة الإيمان بالله

#6
اقتباس
10. MOST IMPORTANTLY: DON'T forward this to your boss by mistake!!!

أعتقد ان هذي أهم وحدة فيهم

#7
اقتباس
5. Looking Impatient and Annoyed.

One should also always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy.

حلوة :D شفت النقطة دى فى مسلسل Seinfeld

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General blog : Shref In Life

#8

كله مطبقه بس لانني فعلا مشغول

Theory is when you know something, but it doesn't work. Practice is when something works, but you don't know why. Programmers combine theory and practice: Nothing works and they don't know why

هذا الموضوع مغلق.

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